Ever heard the term ‘kill your darlings’? It’s when you write something that sounds very clever, but which on closer reflection doesn’t actually achieve much.
Pet words, tricky phrasing, jargon and unnecessary wordplay are all potential examples of not writing precisely. Like when a freelance writer submitted a story to me years ago titled ‘Feeling Randy’, about a teacher named Randy who was (thankfully) anything but sleazy. Or when words like ‘trajectory’, ‘disruption’ and ‘journey’ get used out of context, becoming meaningless.
So I had to chuckle recently when a family friend and ex-cabbie told a story using a particular turn of phrase. Tired of the rudeness he copped from so many passengers, he put up a sign on his taxi door saying, ‘Compliment your cabbie.’ Cute idea; nice alliteration, right?
Next day, two businessmen hailed his cab from across the road and he did a quick U-turn to collect them kerbside. One man got in and said, “Nice U-turn.” The other commented, “Great hairstyle.” It took our friend a few moments to realise what they were doing – complimenting their cabbie. He’d been hoping for a quick ‘thanks mate’ or ‘good driving mate’ at the end of the ride, but the instructions were too imprecise.
So much business writing is imprecise
Precision is something I talk about a lot in my workshops. Of course, the tertiary-educated professionals at a writing workshop deal in different situations to our compliment-starved cabbie. But lack of precision remains an issue. All that leveraging of key drivers going forward, and optimising of customer-centric synergies to impact on triple bottom lines. You get the idea.
For example, can you even tell which industry the following text comes from?
“Innovation is one of our guiding principles at XYZ Inc as we strive to discover new ways of creating added value to your business. We invest in mutually beneficial relationships with our key suppliers so that we can share capabilities and co-innovate for shared growth that will make a difference for your business.”
The words sound so clever. Yet the writer had been more precise, they would have said: “Our product displays are clearly categorised, so customers can pick the right door handles for their project. We also train your staff in selling the right products for the right purpose.”
Don Watson’s books and talks (like this one, with the ABC) delight in making fun of corporate waffle: “I want you, too, to be a catalyst for continuous improvement in the accountability and performance of the public sector, supported by our values…”
Even when we’re not trying to be clever, many everyday business communications lack precision. Like :“Call me at your earliest possible convenience” instead of, “Call me within the next day.” Or: “Fwd: please see attached” instead of , “Important meeting at 10am tomorrow. Please prepare HR report.”
The art of writing with intent
But back to writing precisely, and what to get rid of to ensure you’re not just using buzzwords for their own sake. There are three useful steps to take.
First, clarify what you’re actually trying to say. Try saying this aloud. Many of us over-complicate when writing, but can be perfectly clear when speaking. Another powerful tool used to clarify thinking is mindmapping your main idea and supporting points. This helps you get to the point pretty fast.
Next, cross-check your words for jargon-creep using one of the brilliant lists updated regularly by the UK’s Plain English Campaign. Too many of us slip into bad habits without realising it.
Finally, replace longer words you with one- and two-syllable words where possible. In this way, a phrase like ‘deliver optimal customer satisfaction’ might become, ‘make people happy’.
